Lost, and losing ; 2012

Ive lost, how Ive lost, where Ive lost,
the question remains unanswered
what will be this life,
prolonged in this situation.

I am weary, week and in pain,.
My heart does not support me, my Lord,
days does not favour me any more,
its a test, i'm failing again and again

Throwing me every second, my life as I see
without you is all tipsy turvy .
Let those waves for once wash me back in your arms .
For there I may get the solace I need, the peace I longed for.

Selfish I am now.
With no good begets good .
Alone, in the midnight hour , I weep,
I know, Ive lost, and I know what Ive.

As you see me I want to see you, as I see you
in the mirror its you still radiating the yellow of the sun.
As the white ice your colour shimmers
you adopt the same icy numbness,
that begets from ice, snowwhite.

Let me not lure you  back to oceans of pain,
I too suffer in its midst alone,
 with waves of time,
crushing the bones.

Let me know atleast that you watch me
through an eye hole after shutting me out.
As silent as a lamb, I talked to you ,
as a cuckoo you always sang to me.

Never quarreled me and you.
Alas! it ended without a quarrel.
Its autumn the sun is hot and the wind is cold,
flowers are red but falling leaves are gold.

Heart has lost its voice,
as priorities takes over, its me, mine,
 I have to, rather than want to,
 its you, yours, and I don't need you,
yet I want you. I see you as I see you, not how you present.

I don't hear you  As I used to, yet I hear you .
Yes i hear you in every heart beat.
I embrace you as I did embraced you.  Even when u r hidden.
Yes I embrace you, i know you are here.

I feel u as I feel u, not how you want me to feel you.
i feel the spring warmth, its you
I touch u, as I touch u, whether u know or not.
its the wind that caress you, i touch

I have you, as I had you, cause I never lost you.
you are still in my heart, beating, alive.
I breathe you as I breathe you, you may not know.
its still sweet, the same fragrance every breeze brings.

I feel you as I felt you, you let me or won't
its nature, where you are, your imprints, I feel.

I beat for u, as my heart always did.
still missing a beat once in a while, while I wait for you ,
till wait is over in awhile. I know you as I miss you .
every moment, every breath, every day, day by day.

I am hurt as I hurt u, as hurt you are,
It was never me, I or you, but US, us as complete as it could get.
I know I've lost, and what I've lost,
And what eternal pain that I've gained

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Missing you 164 21-3-1995

When dawn downs its curtain of rays,
with its first beam, I miss you.
At vesper when Sun sets in grey,
With its dying last rays, I miss you.

In the Shining blaze of noon,
With each drop of sweat, I miss you.
On a night of full moon,
With its hallowed aura, I miss you

In the heat of May, and chill of December,
and on a rainy July day, I miss you.
On a spring day, and in the cool of November,
With every cool breeze, I miss you.

With every note of my guitar,
When rung out beautifully, I miss you.
With every vision very far,
Where flowers bloom, I miss you.

With every falling drop of shuddering rain,
with fresh smell of drenched earth, I miss you.
With the thundering sound of passing train
whose rhythm pounds with my heart, I miss you.

I miss you darling, Whatever you think,
with my eyes open and when they blink.

Friendship day tribute 179/122 4-8-1997

Dear Friend, your love,
the friendship you swore.
Like the loving dove,
I felt never like this before.

It's the cherished gift,
I'll forever nurture.
What so ever be time's drift,
and what may be the future.

Grant a favour dear mine,
be like YOU, forever.
Be like a gentle sun shine,
and a happy smile forever.

As a blessing, you are, O' friend,
and be a friend till the end.

Promise 20-3-1995

Whenever you need somebody,
to share your sorrows.
I will be there M'lady,
to share your lows.

Whenever you fell crying,
put your head on my shoulder.
I will always be caring,
no matter how may I grow older.

Whenever you are worried,
let me shed them for you,
Love inside is deeply buried,
inscribed on my soul for you.

Whenever you have nowhere to go,
I'll always be there with my love to glow.